Have you ever wondered that you are not able to have a conversation with your child? Do you think that your child is being secretive? Are you not able to convey what you want to say to your child? Do you feel like scolding your child when they disagree or throw a tantrum? The thoughts are similar even in the case when the child shows disruptive behavior or emotional outbursts. While being a parent is beautiful, parenting can sometimes be hard.
It often becomes a challenge for parents, especially those living in collectivistic cultures like India, to not project onto their child. Problems occur when parents fail to understand that their children are individuals with their own preferences, views, opinions, and perceptions. Elements such as effective communication, a healthy connection, and cooperation are very important for a parent-child bond.
Small children often model their parents and learn how to communicate and behave by imitating them. “If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves”– Carl Jung.
Hence, how you converse with your child may also have long-lasting effects. You can always consult a counselor or a psychologist if you think that your communication patterns with your child are faulty or detrimental. These mental health professionals are specially trained to help you with such challenges through communication and interpersonal skills training.
Some Tips to Enhance the Paremt-Child Bond:
- Listen: Listen to what your child wants to say with genuine attention. Listening to and respecting their opinions, beliefs and preferences, ideas and thoughts. It helps in creating an open, safe, non-judgemental space where a child can freely talk to their family. This further helps in creating a positive, healthy parent-child bond along with development of more secure interpersonal relationships.
- Participate: Try to make a healthy connection with your child by participating in the activities they like such as playing a particular game, watching a movie. In turn, you will see that they will also become open to doing more things such as helping you with small chores, learning new things, and doing their homework. Engaging in activities together increases bonding, respect, love, and understanding.
- Adjust: Like any other relationship you have to cooperate with your child too. You can’t deny the fact that they may not agree with you on many things like you may not agree with them. Therefore, you should try to find a middle ground. It is crucial to include your child in the decision making process because it is an effective rearing technique. An important thing to remember is to also listen to your child’s reasoning behind doing things a certain way or showing a particular behavior. It will help you understand your child and reach a mutual decision.
Hence, how you converse with your child has a huge impact on the relationship you both share and with a little effort and understanding, your relationship with them may blossom.