Have you experienced a situation when something makes you so angry that you lash out on a loved one, a colleague or an employee and later realize that you shouldn’t have reacted that way or this behavior may spoil good relations? Do you waste your precious time anticipating too much about what would happen next or what the future holds for you?
This anger, anticipation, fear or loneliness is an emotion and the way you react to it is your way of expressing that emotion. Many times we lose control over our emotions in difficult circumstances. We then tend to express these emotions in an unhealthy way, which affects our interpersonal relations and other aspects of life.
Our emotions do not appear or disappear when we decide. But it is possible to have control over these emotions. You can use some of the following techniques to help you stay calm and in control.
techniques on managing one’s emotions
- Understand your emotions
Take some time to reflect on how you feel and why you react in a certain way in some situations. You may be worried about how you behaved at work this week, yelling at a colleague, and now you regret it. Maybe the problem was not so serious, but it just got out of hand by not stopping for a moment to think about the real problem.
- Maintaining a journal
One way to understand your emotions is to keep an emotional journal. To use it, you only need to sit with it for 10 or 20 minutes before going to bed. You can review the day and write down how you felt at certain moments throughout the day, why you have felt this way and what you could have done to improve it.
- Accept yourself
We can all make mistakes because it is a part of life. But that doesn’t mean we have to be harsh on ourselves or judge ourselves for it. An obstacle that comes in our way of self-acceptance is our defensive mind-set, which doesn’t let us understand our own emotions. Identify and get rid of the defensive mind habits that you have. This way you will be able to see things as it is and will start accepting yourself.
- Become aware of what an emotion is trying to convey
Instead of fighting with negative emotions, let’s try to accept them. That does not mean resigning that they will never change, but rather giving yourself permission to feel them. Yes, I am sad, yes, this is important to me and it worries me. Observe with an open mind, without judging yourself, and ask yourself, where is this emotion coming from?
- Do not hide from yourself how you feel
It is not that you are communicating to everyone how you feel in your day to day life, but that you identify people who are confident and more or less transparent with your emotions. Many times just naming the feeling you are experiencing can help you be better. Take some time to reflect on your feelings, emotions and your reactions towards them.
- Seek help
Talk about your emotions with your partner, your parents, a friend or someone whom you can trust. They can help you to explore your emotions and give you new ways of thinking and seeing things. Nothing helps you feel understood and cared for more than the support of someone who loves you or appreciates who you are. If this doesn’t work, get professional help from a counsellor.
- Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is an ancient practice that is currently very popular due to its benefits: it improves concentration, reduces stress and improves self-awareness. This helps you to be in the present moment, with a non-judgmental mind-set and an attitude of compassion towards yourself as well as others.
- Breathing exercises
Breathing exercises work well to control emotions. Only breathing consciously in and out can improve our emotional state. Concentrate on your breathing, follow as you inhale and exhale.
- Accept and feel emotions without judgment
Life is a series of ups and downs … and ups and downs. Certain events such as financial difficulties, recessions, deaths of loved ones, presentations, reviews, quarrels, attacks cause fear, anger and may lead to many negative emotions. It’s impossible to get rid of it.
In certain circumstances we can be completely controlled and in other circumstances we can be completely helpless. The relationship we have with the outside world is definitely influenced by all the good and bad experiences we have. Through our history, we have formed certain ideas about life, about ourselves, about others. Sometimes the actual “knot” appears more stringent, and these nodes or sensitive fields generate uncontrolled emotions because they often hide deeper or deeper fears.
If we see the root of the difficulty, we can get rid of our negative emotions and see how we can overcome our emotions without struggling with them.